The annual Halloween tradition known as Trick-or-Treat takes place in Mequon on October 31, 2010, from 4:00pm to 7:00pm. In order to ensure treats are rewarded to only deserving, eligible Mequonites, the Mequon Board of Pedestrian Solicitation has set up guidelines for both city homeowners and pandering children.
1. Trick-or-Treaters may be required to show a photo ID and/or proof of residence before receiving treats.
2. Trick-or-Treaters who have served time in a reform school or penitentiary are not eligible to receive treats. If challenged, it is up to each Trick-or-Treater to prove he or she has not served hard time.
3. Wearing traditional Muslim garb is not considered appropriate costuming as it may be considered offensive to certain groups – and it clearly makes Juan Williams nervous.
4. Corporations are allowed Halloween handouts from all residents because they should enjoy all the same rights as human individuals under the Constitution.
5. Ditto for unborn fetuses.
6. Remember, this is Mequon! Those dispensing treats should try to outdo their neighbors with confections of excessive quantity and/or gourmet quality. Children should appear grateful and polite, but deep inside feel that they deserve ever greater privilege and that others can never do enough.
7. No treats for kids dressed up like Danny Gokey, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, or Jim Ott.