Waves of guilt and shame – and yes, maybe a smattering of arousal – washed over a Mequon man on New Year’s Day morning. After a pleasant, relaxed dinner with friends, Todd Verbundy of Thornapple Road went home with his wife, climbed into bed and proceeded to dream of making mad, passionate love to her friend and ex-roommate, Alicia Schnabel.
“I have nothing to be ashamed of! It’s my sub-conscious!” protested Verbundy. “And in the dream, it was she who seduced me! And still, I can’t help feeling guilty.”
Just imagine! Hours before the offending dream, the Verbundys sat across the dinner table from the Schnabels, laughing, joking and reminiscing. The whole time, however, Verbundy’s brain was building a scenario for midnight lechery.
“I don’t even find that woman particularly attractive! She has very heavy thighs – she’s put some weight on back there since college,” Verbundy opined, ignoring his own massive beer belly and accompanying man-boobs. “I don’t understand how dream-me could have been so turned on by dream-Schnabel! We went at it for hours, right on the softball diamond.”
When asked if he plans on confessing his unconscious sin to his wife, Jenny, he responded without pause. “No. Never. I’m keeping this unfortunate incident between me and my dream journal – and to my local newsblogger. Is that what you call yourself?”
Note: All Mequon Confession articles are first-person, anecdotal tales, unverified and uninvestigated by The Mequon News. They are often factually void recollections by emotionally damaged individuals, and should be enjoyed purely for their coarse entertainment value..”