True Stories of MEQUON CRIME!


It’s time once again to reveal a side of this fine city that few people see. The Mequon News is poking into the dark bowels of town with a fiber optic light on a flexible tube to reveal the hidden polyps of suburban transgression. Because only by discovering the lesions of thievery, vandalism and violence, can we work together as a community to remove such vile malignancy.

Dateline: June the 6th, Mequon, Wisconsin, the 5100 block of West Cairdel Lane.
A wonderful family is preparing to have a wholesome backyard party, hoping to entertain a slew of neighbors and family with refreshing beverages. No expense is spared in stocking up – multiple bottles of rum, vodka, and brandy are acquired; a beer tap is set up; fresh limes are carefully chosen.
Just days before the event, the provisions are arranged on the back patio. How nice to have everything set up in advance! How much fun it will be to chat and mingle and be amply refreshed!
But no! It seems this family was not about to enjoy the luscious fruits of their labor. This party was to be dreadfully crashed by wretched lowlifes that prey upon other people’s dreams! At some point while the family was away – perhaps it was during the day while they were at work, or perhaps it was while they slept soundly in their beds – thieving scum invaded their homestead and snatched away the rum, the vodka, the brandy! The beer tap was taken and, yes, even the four limes lovingly chosen for a citrus garnish were lifted!
Police were called and promptly responded. But what could they do? What could they say? They took down the facts and filed a report. And they moved on.
But that is not the end of the story. Dogged determination and meticulous investigation by the men and women in blue turned up a clue. The purloined pump and beer tapper were found, abandoned in Thiensville!
Surely there is relief in this discovery – limited though it may be. It was common Thiensville thievery; this malevolence seems not to have originated in Mequon.
As always, TMN urges any reader who may know more about this vile act – or any other vile acts, for that matter, to contact the Mequon Police at their earliest convenience.