True Stories of MEQUON CRIME: Lifting Spirits High


boozeIt was a Monday in late January when this punk of 23 and his 21-year-old floozy, both from Milwaukee, decide to start the week on a high note. They waltz into Mequon’s Metro Market on Port Washington Road and walk off with over a hundred of dollars worth of free liquor.

Clean job – in and out. Congrats, and have a snort on the hard-working people of Oz County who actually pay for their booze.

They must have had a real hot time with the crime – putting their thick heads together, staking out aisles, then paying it off with the adrenaline rush cocktail of grabbing the goods and getting away. Two days later, they just had to do it again.

This time, it was a Hump Day heist. Same place, same taste. In they walk, and out they go with a couple hundred dollars worth of hooch, scotch free. Not so clean a job this time, though. Oh, they did everything the same, but that was the problem. This boneheaded Bonnie and Clyde didn’t think about the cameras. Now they’re starring in two sets of surveillance video – and their repeat performance is getting some buzz with the security crowd.

Fast forward about a week to February 3rd. It’s a thirsty Thursday and guess who’s coming to the Mequon Metro Market to dip their bills. Enter our happy couple, cool and confident, in their favorite party clothes, no less. That’s right, they’re wearing exactly the same threads they wore on their other little visits. Clearly, they’re not from Mequon – and not very bright to boot.

Store employees easily spot them at the door and call the cops to crash the party. Happy ending: there’s no Bonnie-and-Clyde shootout; just a whimper and a white flag. And add an extra bonus in the booking: in the process of the arrest on two counts of theft, police found some pot in plain view in the getaway car.

A couple of tips for Stony and Clod: pay for your potables, and if you ever attempt another caper, and we suggest you don’t, change the duds and leave Mary Jane at home.

True Stories of MEQUON CRIME are based on real incidents ripped from the pages of the Mequon Police Report.